The Gospel for the Second Sunday of Advent this year has John the Baptist instructing the people of his day, and by extension us, repent through, “proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins”. Advent invites us to review our lives.
I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of regrets. I sometimes suddenly recall the cruel and hurtful comments that I said to others, the lies that I told, and the times that I yielded to disordered impulses. I assuredly have regrets. And those sorrows, that is the evil one who takes advantage of them, whisper, “You are not worthy anything, how can God love you? Why should he love you??” I don’t think I am unique and we perhaps all wonder at times how ought I handle those feelings of guilt. Some folks just cram them down into spiders bewebbed dark corners of memory until they seemingly fade and disappear. But let’s pause to think about that.
Memory is a gift from God and everything he created is good since nothing he fashioned is evil, even memory. St. Paul acknowledged he was carnal and a slave to sin. He plaintively and publicly disclosed that in his letter to the believers in Roman (7:15), “What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.” That’s part of his theme in the entire epistle, on our own we can do nothing to live a good life and yet those memories help me, and perhaps you, because they remind me of my limitations and failings. And when I carry that to the final conclusion to which they lead, I see it is precisely because of my past blunders, that I have grown spiritually and am able to experience regret, thanks be to God! But then, I ask what is the appropriate way to respond when I’m assailed by memories of sins for that is what they are.
Paradoxically, I first give thanks for the recollection for they indicate I am no longer the person I was. Then, I pay attention to the current circumstances. Is my brain (or the Lord) dredging up what I did in a similar situation? If so, how can that guide me? Lastly, am I just beating myself up (at the urging of the evil one) because I regret a new recent sin and then flood my consciousness with every bad act or thought I’ve done and so leave the boulevard leading to spiritual union with God and take the side rippled, rutted, and miserable gravel road leading to hopelessness and despair? Ignatius of Loyola, Francis of Assisi, Catherine of Siena, and all the saints would say something like “just see yourself as God sees you”, flawed, headstrong, sometimes stinky but still loveable.
Regrets? The soothing balm is repentance, literally to ‘change my mind’ and undergo what the Gospel calls ‘metanoia’ or turning 180 degrees in my thinking and behavior. That’s impossible if I rely on my own strength and resources but this sometimes “prodigal son” if I avail myself of the Sacrament of Reconciliation will receive the same fervent greeting described in the parable, “But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because my son was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found!” A Blessed Advent to you all!
(email [email protected] to have weekly reflections sent to your inbox)
